So what is Romance in the 21st Century, what does it all mean, like where are you coming from man?
The idea of romance and dating are somewhat different today than they were lets say 30 to 40 years ago. Some things are the same but really different, especially in this new age of communication and technology. Reaching out is so easy but also so shielded, think how much more confident you feel to tell someone off or that you love them in a text or email than it is to face them in person. Men and Women are so much braver behind the keyboard or their phones when it comes to anything passionate or romantic. Years ago we all had to be a little tougher and braver, you wanted to ask someone out, it had to be done a little more personal than how it is now. So your reaction to a rejection or acceptance was witnessed by the pursuee. So back then there was a way, a style or trend on how to be, how to be cool or how to campaign one’s self. But now in this day and age, we are learning new methods to the madness. With such an easy “reach out and touch someone” communications plane, our options and prospects are so much more than they used to be. With this new age of communication, there are now tricks, methods, knowledge and even skills you must possess to be accomplished at the larger numbers available to you.
For us men, one challenge is on online dating sites. Think about how many messages you have sent out with zero replies. This is a confidence buster and you are thinking it is you, that this is a sign you are a loser. Well the truth is it isn’t you, it is basic marketing, that’s right, marketing of yourself. The concept of having to be creative in marketing just to get a date is mind boggling but not impossible. In fact this it how it is in general for any method of dating. The mindset and perspectives in today’s times are so much different than decades ago. Girls felt they had to have a man to be looked at as an accomplished status. The more tamed and religious era of those days, girls were ladies and men were gentleman. Of course you had the temptation and thrill of being a rebel, to step outside the lines a little but there seemed to be more respect and principles. Guys loved the shape of a girl, animal attraction has been there and will be there forever but guys were respectful, more tamed and respectful. They took more time to love the person inside the girl.
For the girls, they did things to get them a guy. They baked pies, wore certain clothes and perfumes and tried their best to show interest in what the guys liked. Well those days have changed immensely. Girls dress and primp to impress other girls, they do not need a man. most don’t even want to get married and have a family. Guys today seem less respectful, go for what looks good on the surface. We all live by a code of fitness, don’t get me wrong, we all should take care of ourselves but now it has a high percentage of the dating game in the gyms. If you aren’t cut and chiseled like a movie star, well then you just have to get educated to turn things for the lesser blessed. We live in a spoiled world and if you could bring a person from 30 years ago in today’s time, they would think they landed on another planet.
Romance and fitness seem to be more hand in hand these days, people are more obsessed with image than depth. Like TV and movies, you have Werewolves and Vampires and Dark Sinister Game type plots are where it’s all at. 40 or more years ago, Werewolves and Vampires were the bad guys and it was humanity against the evils. Now days these creatures of what once was evil, now have to be hot hunks that are just looking for love. But our entertainment has set a visual standard for men and women. We think of these convoluted mixed up ideas of these trendy movies and relate romance to the hot guys and gals that play the former dark creatures of evil. But hey, they’re hot, so it must be love, right? Pornography is also so available on the internet or down on the corner at your local Porn Store and what do you see in those? You see hot bodied girls and guys going at it and again, is this a message that you have to be cut and ripped to have great sex or have the deepest love? This could be a whole other topic in itself but my point is that we are exposed to the idea of romance, sex and love going hand in hand with top fit appearance, kind of a conditioning of the mind over time.
I think everyone should do more to be healthier. Products and information is also very available in the 21st Century but I think getting fit should be more about getting healthy, doing it for yourself and allow it to build your confidence up for you than to do it because it is a trend or to impress someone else. A nice prospect about romance and fitness is you can work out with someone of romantic interest and not only is that something you share together that is beneficial but can be a chemistry builder and sexual teaser making for a happier, healthier relationship. But workout for the right reasons, don’t discredit someone because they aren’t a “Gym Goer”, you may be missing out on the love of your life. You have to take the time to get to know someone, it is sad that the world has become so fast paced that everyone is looked at like a excerpt of an ad.
One thing that hasn’t changed about attraction is confidence and that it still holds its position in gender roles. As far back as time itself and well into the 21st Century and beyond, a man being and having confidence is the number one attribute that attracts women. Women can like many things about a man and there are many different taste that not just women have but all of us do. But the one thing that stands out to a woman is that a man have his confidence, even if it is just one thing he is passionate about, these things attract women. One thing that has changed over time is that a lot of men have quit being men, they have become pretty boys or just wimps looking for approval. For one reason or another, today’s times have tore down men’s self-esteem and self worth. Years back, men did have to work physically harder and were mostly the bread winners in the family. With today’s technology, machines do a lot of the work and computers do a lot of the thinking for men, business structures are based more on numbers, status quo and appearance more than a man’s hard work and dedication. A lot of women make more money than men or have more success which there isn’t anything wrong with that. Somehow men have let these insecurities and self doubt consume them and start seeking approval from their women, this of course knocks down the image of a confident man. I still believe the old saying that “Behind every successful man, there lies a good woman”. To me, I think this means that we need to work together and be a real team, many today find this offensive but I look at it as a positive statement.
There are many people and companies that see these issues with men and women with dating, confidence, fitness and the need for self improvement and luckily with this age of the 21st Century communications, all you have to do is look on the Web to find some help. I think reading others thoughts and and hearing about others experiences can be really helpful, if anything else it shows that you are not alone. My thoughts about about bettering yourself would start with being true to who you are. Look into your heart, figure out what you really like. Find out what you like to do, what things make you happy and what it is you like about yourself. Figure these things out and it will map out a to do list of what you want and feel you need to improve on. Then secondly, never give up, stay focused on what you want and never let anyone else tell you different. Well unless your passion is to be an ax murderer or something evil, then I would suggest taking a more good and positive path. Make life fun, we only get one go around that we know of and life is really short, so we have to make the best of it. We all have work and responsibilities and then we have those things we wished we could have done better or different but remember, you can’t change what was, only what will be and worrying about things you can do nothing about serves no purpose. Make mistakes and mess up because that is OK, your human, that is what we do. However learn from your mistakes, take the positive from it and keep moving forward. To succeed is to do something about it failing or not, to fail is to do nothing at all.
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