Dating

Instant Chemistry

Instant ChemistryI have been on dating sites and one thing many of the women’s profiles have in common is that they write that they are going to know if there is this instant chemistry in the first 5 minutes of meeting a man. I can’t help but laugh at this and then scratch my head to wonder what happened to the smarts of people. I have also read this on men’s profiles as well so it isn’t just women that are alluded by this ridiculous theory. I mean people wonder why their relationships don’t last, why the divorce rate is between 45 and 50 percent in America. Granted there is those who get lucky and find the one they are supposed to be with and know it in an instant but this is uncommon and rare. But again there is nothing wrong with being optimistic and a romantic and hoping the person you just met is your soul mate. But sadly most people are looking at the wrong clues to this romantic dream.

For women it’s his height, he has to be tall or he has to be rich, he has to be projecting this “Alpha-Male” quality, it is always something on a physical,status or materialistic side. Men are like puppies, you give them simple treats and man they are sold. Men have to have a 10 plus model, big boobs, nice tooshies, magazine quality face, rich, popular and again the list goes on with such shallow attributes. Yes we all have an idea of what we would like our significant other to look like or status they hold in life and we all deserve to be happy and strive for what we want in life. Sadly a large amount are missing out on wonderful people with fantastic hearts, missing out on a love story that fairy-tales are created from. People are in such a hurry these days that they need hot chemistry in 5 minutes, hot sex within the first week they meet, they need all their friends to like this person and fit into their lives and it has to be right now. It seems to have become all about image and a check list more than what should really matter.

So what should really matter? Friendship should matter the most out of it all. It doesn’t matter if you have hot steamy passionate sex every hour on the hour or not, friendship has to be in your relationship or it is doomed. There are those looking for just a physical sexual no strings attached relationship and it isn’t anyone’s business if that is what you want. But for those that want true love, something long term to even marriage, you have to be best friends. What is a best friend? That is the person that is going to stand by you no matter what. That is the person that is going to listen to all your stories about other relationships of your past, horror stories, sad stories, crazy stories, crazy ideas. A best friend is going to listen period and not make judgements, they are just going to be there without jealousy or plans on how to manipulate you into being something you are not. A best friend accepts you for who you are. If you do not have this in your relationship, then you may be doomed to fail. Truly loving someone comes with all that being a best friend is but adds something to your life that is hard to explain. Loving someone is wanting the others happiness more than your own and it is believing in the other that goes beyond friendship. Because when you truly believe in someone, it isn’t for a day, or sometimes, but forever. When you are truly in love, you miss that person when they are not around but you do not need to always be with them to be your own person. That love only enhances who you are and makes you a better person. So many feel that love is needing someone, having someone to give you a reason to live and that is so far from the truth. Love is believing in each other and in turn, when someone believes in you, that makes you want to be a better person. Love is strength, not a weakness and it only makes you see life in a more positive light. Many feel if you are in a relationship that you have to be up each others butt 24/7 and if your not, then you must not really love them. That is selfishness and not love. When you are in love, you want to be with the other as much as you can but that isn’t always possible. Love is also understanding and sometimes a little time apart only makes the times together that much better.

I feel if people slowed down and took the time to know someone, that not only are they going to avoid getting involved with someone that they wished they never did but put themselves in a position to see someone for everything they always wanted. Women are the worst about being attracted to jerks and liars, not that men don’t fall to this flaw as well but women are a little more prone to this. Women are more emotional, they are connected to their feeling more than men are and when a guy that knows how to talk the talk, give the body language to create that 5 minute attraction, women become those hopeless romantics feeling he is the one. Sadly only to find out he was after the hot rear end and once he gets a few free rides, he moves onto the next prey. This leaves women the attitude that men suck, and there is a good percentage of men that do suck but there are also men out there that want that ever after like women do. Sadly women find men that are sensitive and caring to be friends and these guys are forever stuck in the friend-zone. The world is a crazy place and so complicated on such a simple matter. All I can say is for the women, take your time and look for the great qualities in men you may not think you would be attracted to right away. Give it a little time, no games, just take a little time to get to know them. For men, you need to step your game a little and be a little more an alpha-male. You step up your game a little, you will not only be a little more confident but you would be saving some great women from heartaches from the other predatory men. Life Enrichments promotes a few courses for men that can help them become better at dating and explain how to be the kind of man that gets the women they want. There is also courses for the ladies to help them find truer relationships. There are also courses to help those already in relationships or those relationships that have fallen apart. Check out Life Enrichments and see if you find what may improve your life or even someone else you know that needs help.

In conclusion, the 5 minute test for instant chemistry isn’t the best method to use. Times are faster paced and we all have hectic time sensitive schedules but when it comes to finding a quality partner to share your life with, don’t you think it is better to give it some quality time? I mean think about it, you get out of life, what you put in, so if you really think you are going to find true love in 5 minutes, does it really make sense it is something going to last more than 5 minutes? People are afraid to invest themselves emotionally but for anything worth having, you have to take the risk. Romance in our times is becoming a joke and it is only us that can repair it and restore what is really magic. I feel if we all take the time to really get to know one another, reach out and make new friends and I mean more than social media. People really need to get their heads out of their phones and iPads and pay attention to what is real around you. You are not going to be taking social media and texting with you when you die so maybe you need to prepare yourself for something a little more personal.

 

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